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Genealogy
Humour
If
you have any Family History Funnies
please forward them to the
Editors Holly Fee-Timm and Scott Brown
Murphys
Laws of Genealogy
These were sent to
INET-GENSOC-L by AL Smith
They came from South Bay Cities Genealogy Society
The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated and
at which the platform collapsed under him turned out to be a hanging.
When at last after much hard work you have solved the mystery you have
been working on for two years, your aunt says, "I could have told you that"
Your grandmother's maiden
name that you have searched for for four
years was on a letter in
a box in the attic all the time.
You never asked your
father about his family when he was alive
because you weren't
interested in genealogy then.
The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic.
Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the surnames.
John, son of Thomas, the
immigrant whom your relatives claim
as the family progenitor, died on board ship at age 10.
Your gr grandfather's newspaper obituary states
that he died leaving no issue of record.
The keeper of the vital
records you need has
just been insulted by another genealogist.
The relative who had all
the family photographs gave them all to her daughter
who has no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.
The only record for your
great grandfather is that
his property was sold at a sheriff's
sale for insolvency.
The one document that
would supply the missing link
in your dead-end line has been lost
due to fire, flood or war.
The town clerk to whom
you wrote for the information sends
you a long handwritten letter
which is totally illegible.
The spelling of your
European ancestor's name bears
no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.
None of the pictures in
your recently deceased grandmother's
photo album have names
written on them.
No one in your family
tree ever did anything noteworthy,
owned property, was sued or
was named in wills.
You learn that your
great aunt's executor just sold her life's collection of family
genealogical materials to a flea market dealer "somewhere in
New York City"
Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate
inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded.
The 37 volume, sixteen thousand page history of your county of origin isn't indexed.
You finally find your gr
grandparent's wedding records and
discover that the bride's father was named John Smith.